Whole Beauty Part 4: Considering an animal-free diet

For about a year now, I’ve been considering a vegetarian lifestyle.  

While changing my whole diet may seem like a complicated issue, for me, it’s motivated by the pure and uncomplicated love of animals. 

A long evolution of thought and feeling has led me to a clear decision: I love animals and I don't want to eat them.  I want to share a little bit of this journey with you, as well as my really fun conversation with my lovely Vegan friend, Heidi.  However, this type of conversation always seems to require the disclaimer that, while I believe eating meat is a moral issue, I don’t judge others for enjoying their bacon and sausage.  I don’t pretend to be morally superior, in any way, to my omnivorous peers - I'm still one of you!  And I have to go on this journey myself before recommending it to anyone else.  But, if you want to come, I think it's going to be a super fun journey, filled with tasty food!

If you’re still with me (thank you, you’re awesome), and want to know WHY I would suddenly decide to stop eating tasty animals – I remember the exact moment.  I was watching PBS (the impetus for many a great epiphany, I’m sure), and got sucked into a fascinating documentary about Joe Hutto, a true-to-life cowboy mountain man who researched wild mule deer for seven years:

Touching the Wild, on PBS

From the website: "Joe Hutto’s idea of research is anything but normal, dedicating seven years of his life to becoming a wild mule deer. The herd would ordinarily run from any human but, incredibly, these keenly intelligent animals come to regard this stranger as one of their own. Accepted by the matriarch, he walks among them, is even groomed by them, and can lie with a pregnant doe talking to its unborn fawns. As he crosses the species divide, Joe is tapping into a new understanding about these elusive animals, literally entering a deer society. The captivating joy he feels for his new family is nothing short of infectious, but this human predator also learns to see the world from the point of view of prey – and it’s an experience that will ultimately rock him to his very core; sharing their world so personally finally takes a toll that sends him back to his own kind.”

There is a scene in this documentary where Hutto discovers the carcass of a mule deer buck he’s known for 5 years, which has been killed and eaten by wolves.  Importantly, I think, Hutto makes no distinction between human and animal hunters: humans eat meat, so do cougars, and he passes no judgment.  He does nothing to interfere with hunting by humans, wolves, or cougars, even though he has come to love and understand this family of mule deer.  As he finds the animal’s remains, Hutto narrates, “I've observed kills on more occasions that I would like to count, and they’re truly the quintessential death by a thousand cuts.  And it’s like reconstructing a crime scene…You see where the animal was eventually grabbed, usually by multiple individuals, struggled, was dragged to the ground, viciously torn, blood in the snow, and then finally that animal’s agony has ended.  And that’s a horrible picture, and people don’t see that.”  Then he watches as the buck’s brother finds his remains, and cries out in distress.  This is the moment when I knew I couldn't eat meat anymore.  Despite his stoic nature, you can't help but feel Hutto's emotion as he narrates: 

“They don’t cling less desperately to their lives than we do.  They do not experience death with less fear than we do.  Their agony and their horror is absolutely real.  This is an individual that you know, and you see their horror and their agony.  And you assign this to the way nature works.  Well, when you’re that close to an animal, you can’t look at it and say ‘well this is the natural order of things, this is the way it should be.’  You just cannot dismiss it.” 

As I cried watching this emotional scene, I looked down at my two cats sleeping on the floor, and think how much time and energy I spend to make them happy and safe, how devastated I would be if they were lost, hurt, or killed.  And I think about how many people cry over humane society commercials.  Why is a suffering, lonely dog any different from an animal we eat?  Millennia ago, we chose dogs and cats for companions, and cows and chickens to eat, but how can we say this is the way it’s definitely supposed to be now?  How can we unequivocally say that some creatures’ feelings are more precious than others, especially as our scientific knowledge about the emotional lives of animals only increases.  We all watched Blackfish and swore we’d never visit SeaWorld again.  To me, vegetarianism seems like the obvious next step. 

Though this may have been emotionally motivated at first, I knew intellectually that I had a lot of questions about vegetarianism.  I thought immediately of my dear friend, Heidi Elizabeth White.  

pictured here with her awesome kitteh, Miss Busybee!

Heidi has been my friend since 5^th grade, when we lived in Spain together, along with our two other close friends, Samantha and Amy.  I knew even then that all of these ladies would grow up to be kind, inspiring women, and Heidi is no exception.  She lives in Vermont and is a nurse, writer, herbalist, and Vegan of three and a half years.  She’s currently working towards starting an official vegan organization in Vermont.  One of my favorite things about Heidi is that she is a bona fide animal activist, but her messages are always so filled with positivity that you can’t help but to listen.  She doesn't try to shock or attack others into Veganism, but is constantly spreading positive messages about the moral, economical, environmental, and health benefits of a vegan lifestyle.  She’s incredibly knowledgeable, and always willing to share and answer questions.  So I went to her with my top 4 burning questions about an animal-free diet:  (I took the liberty of highlighting some of my favorite bits!)

Katey:  What is your favorite thing (or things) about being a vegan?

Heidi: I love the joy and lightness of being that come with making daily choices that reflect my values. There’s never any compromise. To the greatest extent possible, the food and clothes and personal hygiene and household products I use are not derived directly or indirectly from the suffering of others. I love animals. They exist for their own purposes—not for the convenience and utility of humans. I would never want to be complicit in or tacitly endorse their use in any way shape or form. It feels like being on the brink of something beautiful. I envision a new kind of world where we all live to cause the least amount of impact on our fellow beings and allow all souls to walk their paths. I love it when friends (like you and others!) come up to me and say they’ve been hearing my message and they really want to know what they can do to change what they’re doing and make a difference too. It means that, no matter how hard it can be sometimes, someone is listening and the work I’m doing is making a difference.

I also love finding vegan versions of things. I was at the grocery store with another Vegan friend and it’s so delightful to find vegan versions of old favorite foods or to find things that are “accidentally” vegan. It makes you appreciate food on a whole other level.

Katey:  What was the hardest thing (or things) when you first started a vegetarian/vegan diet?

Heidi:  Honestly, I didn't miss a lot of omnivore foods when I started out and I still don’t. It is easier than ever to be vegan because they make so many substitutes for amazing foods (meatless meats, ice cream, cookies, cupcakes…these aren't necessarily healthy and should still be eaten in moderation or very sparingly, but they’re great in a pinch!). Certain brands are better than others and it just requires a bit of trial and error to find favorites. You’re not going to like all vegan foods anymore than you like every kind of omnivore food. It just requires patience and experimentation.

And it sort of goes along with my last answer to question one—creating amazing vegan food is such a happy accomplishment. When you can eat amazing, delicious food and know that there was no cruelty involved, everyone wins. I never have wanted to “cheat” because I was so satisfied with alternatives so that wasn't an obstacle for me. I reached a point where animal ingredients began to be seen as tainted and to be avoided at all costs for that reason.

What was difficult was learning to thoroughly read labels. Something could look vegan from the outset and then I would come to realize later it wasn't. Every so often this still happens when I've lapsed into a sort of false sense of security, but that usually keeps me wary for the next time. This might seem like a lot of work, but boycotting animal use and cruelty is worth a small amount of trouble as far as I’m concerned.

The other hard thing is the inevitable backlash you get from omnivores which, honestly, can feel very isolating and discouraging at times. That’s why I think every aspiring Vegan needs a buddy to support them. (Incidentally, I am willing to offer these services for free to anyone who lives in a vegan-deprived area!)

Katey: I'm a relatively healthy eater who loves to cook, but my diet is a pretty typical American (PNW) diet - I love classic American food like casseroles and barbeque, Italian, Mexican, Thai, Indian, Chinese (or America's best approximation of those). I do enjoy trying new things, but really am not the most adventurous eater. All that being said, what would you say are some good, accessible cookbooks or websites for the beginning vegetarian?

Heidi: Many ethnic foods are vegan by default or can easily be made vegan. I find this is really easy with Indian food. I recommend asking questions, though. Restaurants are used to these sorts of questions and are generally very understanding. Be sure to ask if beans are made with lard in a Mexican restaurant. Make sure there is no fish sauce being used in Asian dishes. Even in Indian food they often use cream or Ghee (clarified butter) in dishes. Italian is somewhat more challenging and I stick to making my own substitutions at home (it’s a landmine of cheese everywhere and egg-brushed pasta). Barbeque is totally doable with great inventions like seitan (as long as you don’t have gluten issues).  It also helps to be that really polite and super nice Vegan, because it encourages establishments to make more things that cater to Vegans which ultimately makes it easier for everyone—animals included!

The Veganomicon is the Vegan cooking bible. One thing that’s fun to do is take favorite recipes and substitute the animal ingredients for Vegan ones. There are Vegan cheeses and non-dairy milks that will make super creamy, rich, good casseroles. It’s amazing what plants can do! My desserts are better now since I stopped making them with animal products. If you live in a cool area (like Seattle!) I would recommend using apps and websites like Happy Cow to find vegan and Vegan-friendly places to eat out. They also offer options for finding great stores that offer vegan food as well. What I did, and my general guideline for others, is to start experimenting with food substitutions and to eat at super awesome vegan restaurants for inspiration.

Katey: Though I've been an omnivore my whole life, giving up meat is not what I think will be hardest. Honestly, the thing I'm most worried about is inconveniencing other people! I'm worried about having to say "actually, I've become a vegetarian," and not being able to eat a meal prepared by someone I care about; family members wondering "what are we going to feed Katey?" before I visit; making others feel as if they have to make special accommodations for me when we go out to eat. Though I can't imagine my friends or family complaining, I do worry about navigating these social issues. Have you experienced these challenges, and how do you manage them?

Heidi: That’s funny because that was my initial fear as well. At first I thought, “Well, maybe I won’t be Vegan at my mom’s or with my family in California…” But that thought didn’t really last long. What happened is that as I started making these choices, as I started changing the behaviors, something inside me *clicked.* I wasn't really the same, but it was this kind of strange and amazing awakening.

I wasn’t Vegan to inconvenience others. I’m Vegan because I love animals and I don’t want to hurt them.

As much as I love my family and their gestures of offering love through food, I gently let them know there are other ways they can love me. If someone offers me something that has animal products in them I try to thank them as warmly as I can and tell them I appreciate the thought, but I don’t eat animal products. In the end it’s not about us as people. It’s about the animals. We have our own voices and can speak up for ourselves. The animals don’t and it’s going to take a heck of a lot more compassionate people who are willing to speak and act for them. The response can sometimes be mixed. I try to avoid certain social situations altogether, but others can be worked around. My parents don’t really understand my Veganism, but my mom is really smart and conscientious (she was actually the first person who explained Veganism to me years and years before I ever went Vegan). She knows how to read labels and only buys me cruelty-free products for gifts. She also is a kick ass chef and has made me some amazing Vegan food since I made the transition. 

You can also make a point of bringing your own dish to social and family events because everyone can eat and enjoy Vegan food, and if you can show others how awesome and easy it can be, that helps motivate others to think about positive change. Vegans are very opportunistic in this way. I love feeding delicious baked goods and other great food to friends and co-workers.

At the conclusion of our talk, Heidi added, “For a more comprehensive overview of the exact whys and wherefores myself and others see Veganism as a moral bottom line, please go to www.earthlings.com and see the free online film of the same title. And let me know what you think!”

I plan start my vegetarian adventure in August, and will aim to blog about successes, challenges, and tasty recipes.  I have Heidi for my “Vegan Buddy” but would love a local one, too, if anyone wants to tackle this lifestyle with me! 

Are there lifestyle changes you've made because of a moral awakening?  How do you feel about an animal-free diet?  Let me know your thoughts!

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Whole Beauty Part 3: Why I Exercise

Let's get one thing straight: I'm never going to be one of those people who LOVES the gym.  I've never been an athlete.  My parents put me in a wide variety of youth sports, hoping, I think, that I had some hidden talent that could be coaxed out by a professional.  I didn't.  Well actually my "hidden" talent was hiding... at recess so I could quietly read my book instead of being forced to run around in the dirt.  It's so dirty!

Despite an inauspicious beginning, many people grow up to love "being active" - meaning they love to run marathons or hike or do Crossfit (and then post excessively about it on facebook).  I figured I could be one of those people... at least the facebook part...

I do like hiking, especially here in the PNW, but only in the summer when it's not too hot, so that means I like hiking about 2 days per year.

I like yoga, it's relaxing, and kinda fun, in a sweaty sort of way

Ballet is super cool, and it almost tricks me into thinking I'm not working out... almost

Zumba is stupid... #amiright?

Pilates is hard, duh

Conclusion: I seem to get the best workout dancing to Destiny's Child alone in my house

Last fall, I trained for and ran my first 5k, which was a huge accomplishment for me, considering I've never really committed to anything athletic ever in my life. 

I had a running schedule that I actually stuck to, and I went outside (where it's dirty!) and ran 4 days per week for a whole freakin month!  In the rain and shit!  I completed the 5k in about 30 minutes.  I was beat by this dog:

Dammit, Oscar!  (no but seriously, Oscar, I love you).  Regardless, I was extremely proud.  It was the first time I'd really committed to a workout.  And I found that running is the only form of exercise that actually quiets all those annoying voices in my head.

Which brings me to why I workout.  I don't do it because it's fun.  Yah, sure, running can be fun if you can make it to Greenlake and it's a lovely sunny, 68 degree day, and you just got a cute new workout top, and the Usher Pandora mix is picking all the right jamzz.  But I don't love being active.  I love cooking, I LOVE wine tasting, I love reading quietly in my bed... I love love love sitting on my ass sewing all day.  So the only thing that gets me up to go hard for 35 minutes on the treadmill, or make it to that evening yoga class, is because, if I'm working out hard enough, for maybe 10 minutes sometime that day, I have a quiet brain.

Anxiety is a tricky beast.  It often prevents you from doing exactly what will help the most - something new.  I've had an anxious temperament all my life...  I think I came out of the womb asking the doctor, "should we be concerned?"  

I tried running about 3 years ago because a) my mother told me she felt strangely calm every time she went walking, and b) my therapist told me to.  Even though, as a counselor, I extolled the virtues of exercise to every anxious or depressed client I encountered, knowing the research to support it, and really believing it was true, I'd never tried it myself.  Working out was not just a part of who I was.  I couldn't be one of those "gym people" who post "before and after" pictures on Instagram, #humblebragging about how "healthy" and "fit" they feel, when deep inside they're just hoping someone will say "good job" or "you look hot."  Don't front!  We ALL want that sometimes, cause working out IS hard, and they DO look hot!  But I couldn't be that workout girl.  Is it even possible, as a woman, to talk about working out without somehow secretly asking for validation?  "I accept myself for who I am."  "I just workout to be healthy."  "She squats, bro."  What is all this??  No wonder I had so much trepidation about edging into this community..

But then I went for a run.  It sucked.  But afterwards, as I was laying on the my living room floor, sweaty and pissed off, I realized... I wasn't thinking about anything.  

The next day, I went for another run.  Again, nothing.  No thoughts.  

So this is what my husband means when I ask him what he's thinking about and he says, "nothing."  Before this, my mind could not comprehend that a person could ever be thinking about nothing.  You're always thinking about something... right?  There is always something to worry about, at least quietly, in the background, while you're doing other things.  Usually several things.

I kept running.  After a week, I was sleeping through the night (all people don't wake up several times during the night, just thinking about stuff?).  I started doing push ups and sit ups and stretches after the run while I was cooling off, rather than laying on the floor panting thinking, "I can't believe I just went for a stupid run!"  After 2 weeks, my skin looked better (shit, my dermatologist was right).  After a month, I saw defined muscles in the mirror (and briefly thought about posting a before and after pic on Instagram).  Maybe I'm a runner.  No... that's too weird... Here's a pic of me jumping on the bed after NOT working out... #imcool

Since then, I've gone through phases of working out regularly, and other phases of not.  When I find myself freaking out about what to make for dinner, or being 30 seconds late to things, or waking up in the night, "did I call my mom back?" then I ask myself, "have you been working out, eating right, doing things to take care of yourself?"  The lovely thing is that I now know anxiety has a solution, and I will feel better in a week's time if I commit to being active 4 times.  And stop drinking and watching so much Kardashians.

Why do you work out?  

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For more recipes, photos, and thoughts on life, follow me on Pinterest,  Instagram, and Twitter!  Smooches!