For those of you who don't know what I do, I'm currently in year 5 of 6 working towards my clinical psychology Ph.D. I work as a counselor at an all-girls high school.
The answer to this question was important to my client because she considers herself a feminist, and had received some negative feedback from her friends about this. She'd essentially received the message that to consider yourself a feminist is outdated, and conjures up images of "hairy armpits" - this is what a few teen girls had said. It sort of boiled down to the idea that being a feminist is un-feminine. That it means you eschew "womanly" things like make up and motherhood. That you hate men, and think they're all out to get you.
I asked my client what it means to her to be a feminist, and she said, "It means I like being a girl...and I think girls should be free to do what they want."
I thought this was a perfect explanation. Yes, I am a feminist. I like being a girl, too. And I will continue to be a feminist until girls really can do what they want. Whether they have hairy armpits or not.
That's what inspired me to write this next blog series on women I know who do what they want. Each of these women is a strong, cool, smart, sexy, fun, boss-lady, and I wanted to talk to each of them and share my conversations about some of my favorite topics, namely beauty and wellness. Basically talking to broads about being broads. Lady on lady conversing. Chick shit. All girls allowed. (Boys can read, too).
I wanted to start off this series by rapping about my female friends and family. (not literally rapping, I can't rap, though I rhyme sometimes for funsies).
I hear all the time that women find it hard to have close relationships with other women. My [feminist] take on that is that it's pretty hard to establish yourself as a powerful, smart, assertive, boss-lady and still seem accessible. I think women are often intimidated by other women, and/or competitive with them. Or maybe you were just a shy late-bloomer and didn't get to have fun female friendships until adulthood (who is that?? oh me, haha).
These challenges to female friendship are exactly what makes me so grateful, on the daily, to be included in the friendships I've found here in Seattle, and to be inspired by women who celebrate themselves and each other.
Namely, Smash Club, friends from college, and my sisters and Mama
SMASH CLUB
I can't believe how lucky I am to have been adopted by this crew... I've truly never encountered a group of women who are as genuinely supportive, positive, and kind to each other as these ladies. I look around at them and see how much happiness we take in each others' wellbeing and accomplishments. To me, they are the model of modern female friendship.
We're also really good at making human pyramids
College friends
My sisters and these women I met in college (and before) became my bridesmaids, along with some Smash Club beauties you see in there. I lived with Kim for 4 years and I consider that my first marriage. She is an inspiration for powerful women everywhere. She works ridiculously long hours in D.C. for the awesome Shot@Life campaign, and does it all in amazing fashion. And Meghan, who's a bride this year (!!!!), has constantly amazed me with her loyalty and kind friendship. We survived years of working for bad pay at [un-named coffee corporation]. Julia is my oldest friend. That deserves a blog post of its own (and will have it).
Sisters
Chelsea is StewDrew's girlfriend, and quickly became my closest confidante. She's hung out with my family for years now and doesn't even think we're crazy! She's genuinely one of the most un-selfish people I know. I admire her so much.
Katie is Jake's wife. She bring so much joy every place she goes...she lights up a room, and has the most contagious laugh. And she should serve as an inspiration for all women through her toughness, brilliance, sweetness, and strength.
Little B is my darling baby sister. I think, within minutes of meeting her, everyone knows she is something special. She loves fully and is never afraid to laugh at herself - I think this is the epitome of grace. I want to be like her when I grow up.
And finally,
Mama
This is the woman who taught me everything I know about being a woman. She mothered 4 children as a Navy wife and created a beautiful, healthy, love-filled home for all of us. I've never heard her complain. She taught me how to be a listener. She is gentle. She is beautiful. She taught me to dress with class, even if you're just going to the grocery store, and to wash my face every night before I go to sleep. She is patient. She is affectionate. She taught me that Wife and Mother are two jobs with capital letters. She taught me to love and respect my body. She taught me to be kind to other women. And to be kind to myself. She taught me all those things on purpose, but even if she hadn't, I would have learned them from watching her. So really she is the queen of boss-ladies, and the inspiration for all these posts to follow.
If you're still reading now after all that gushing prose about the women of my life, I thank you, and ask you to stay tuned for more posts in the Whole Beauty series (which, I promise, will be shorter, dirtier, and more useful).
Now go hug some woman you love!
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