Women at the Nail Salon

I think I'm probably a "middle maintenance" type woman.  By that I mean I'm somewhere in between having a personal stylist and wearing yoga pants to the movies.  I wear make up every day.  But not to the gym.  I value nice things.  But sometimes I make them myself, or buy them secondhand.  I love nature.  But I hate camping (sorry, Nicolai, the truth comes out...).

But I think the most high-maintenance, vanity-focused thing I do is get my nails manicured every 2 weeks... (and I took this selfie for my Nail Salon post, that's pretty vanity-focused... but when will I ever be this young and Instagram-filtered again???)

The nail salon is a fantastic place to watch and think about people.  Manicurists are usually skilled at picking up what type of person you are pretty quickly.... There's a kind of salon etiquette code ... They ask you a few questions, and if you respond briefly, that means you're comfortable (or relieved) to just sit quietly.  If you're chatty, then they have a whole arsenal of inquiries.  Lots of women will tell their manicurist things they wouldn't tell their best friend.  In my experience, manicurists also seem to have an amazing ability to remember minute details of their clients' lives.  This impresses me because, most of the time, I can't remember what day it is.

Unless I'm with a friend, I'm in the quiet camp.  With the work I do, sometimes it's relieving to be silent for an hour... I think my manicurist may feel the same way because she listens to people all day, too.

As an added bonus, being silent allows for some good, quality eavesdropping.  90% of people coming to the nail salon are women in groups.  And despite the fact that we're all in public, all of these women use the nail salon as time to dish the dirtiest dirt.  All of them.  There is a magical "truth or dare" portal at the door to the salon, but you can only choose "truth."  And even though there are four other groups of women half-eavesdropping on your conversation, there's as much Real Talk happening as a Charles Shaw-fueled slumber party.

I think it's wonderful that women do this.  I think it's completely awesome that we've all made a silent agreement that the nail salon is "our place" and we can talk about whatever we want.

But it's also a little unsettling, sometimes, when 90% of the conversation I hear is women talking about other women.  Men always think we're thinking about them, but the nail salon proves this is completely false.  We think about ourselves, and other women.  It's not always negative, but a lot of the time it is. It makes me think about a strange paradox.

The nail salon is one place I've seen that women have claimed, where we can talk about whatever we want.  It's hard out there for a woman, still.  There is still inequality in our day to day lives.  Raise your hand if you've been asked if you need "help" with something today.  Yet so often when we can talk without fear of being harassed or belittled, we're so often belittling each other.  Why do we do this?

I've read that because it's so hard for women to achieve a sense of secure confidence in this society, that gossip is one way of ensuring a continued position of power.  I've read that it's relational aggression instilled from a young age when we were taught we couldn't fight with fists.  I've read that gossip is one way of communicating trust and a special relationship, of ensuring group membership.  I've read that, particularly in America, women need more reassurance that their feelings, particularly difficult ones like anger or resentment towards others, are "correct," and gossip is one way of eliciting that.

I've also read that it's just fun to talk shit sometimes.  I pass through that "truth" portal, too, and I'm the one eavesdropping on all the good stories about what slutty thing Stacey did at the bar last night.  But I feel guilty for enjoying it.  Probably no one should be calling Stacey slutty.  Aren't we judged enough by men and strangers?

I'm reassured when I remember that most of this gossip is harmless.  And I remember that I've chosen friends who would include me in any hilarious conversation of my slutty-ness.  Stacey's probably laughing at herself, too.  If I do something dumb, mean, or ridiculous, I sort of hope my friends would talk about it.  Maybe our ability to talk so candidly about each other, in the nail salon and elsewhere, is one thing that makes being a woman extremely cool.  

Can we say we've "reclaimed" some of the names and stereotypes used against us?  Would being kinder to each other change how we're treated in the world?  Or maybe we just need the nail salon to get it all out.

Either way, I'll be back in 2 weeks.  I think I'll go with pink.

Sewing Tutorial: Zippered Bag

I absolutely love sewing.

Two years ago, Nicolai the Husband got me a beautiful, special, brand new, computerized sewing machine for Christmas, and since then I've slowly morphed into a zany crafter.  Seriously, I'm one stitch away from making clothing for my cats...not there yet...but close.

My favorite thing to make is people clothing, though I have to say I felt most accomplished after completing my first quilt.  Making a quilt was one of the most difficult, but rewarding, sewing experiences I've ever had, and I plan to create a whole quilting tutorial series for beginning quilters.

But today I wanted to share an easy beginning sewing project - a zippered bag.  Even if you're an expert sewer (seamstress? sewstress? sewmaster?), sometimes it's fun to just have a project that takes an hour.  Feel a sense of accomplishment in your life!  Impress your man/lady with your domestic prowess!  Wow your Pinterest followers with your DIY skilzzz!

Seriously, this bag is easy and fun to make. I've made about a half-dozen of these things in all shapes and sizes - they have a million uses!  I made make-up and jewelry bags for my best friends for Christmas, I made a case for my Kindle, and a case for my laptop.  Today, I made a laptop case for Little B.

Let's jump in!  First, supplies... Because the laptop I was making measured 9" x 13" I purchased 1/3 yard of each outer and liner fabric.  (1/3 yard measured approximately 12 inches).  You can adjust for your needs.  If you want to start with a little make up bag, you could buy fat quarters.   I prefer 100% cotton fabric for this project.
I also purchased 1 zipper.  You can buy a zipper to fit your project, but you can also trim a zipper to suit your needs.  If you've never sewn in a zipper before, there are good instructions on the Coats & Clark zippers packaging, and in your sewing machine manual ;)
You will also need 1/3 yard interfacing.  Choose an interfacing weight that you like.  I think it's helpful to use lightweight-medium fusible interfacing with this beginner project.  Keep in mind, this laptop case is more decorative than protective - it's not going to save your laptop from being dropped in the street.
But, a laptop case (or make up bag, or any other use for this bag) is a good opportunity to use a print you normally wouldn't get to work with - a rainbow floral too busy for clothing or a quilt.  Get something fun (or on sale)!  With my Joann's coupons, the total cost of these supplies was $6.50.

Prep your fabric with a good press.  If this was a garment or an object that we intended to wash (or if you think you will need to wash your laptop bag at some point), I'd recommend pre-washing.

Next, cut your fabric to size.  I cut mine 11" x 15" for a 9" x 13" laptop.  Why such large seam allowances, you ask?  In this case, I'm accounting for a little bit of height in the laptop, and in a project like this, there's no harm in large seam allowances.  You can practice your perfect 1/4 inch seam when you start your quilt! 

You will end up with 2 squares of outer fabric, 2 squares of liner, and 2 squares of interfacing.  If you're using fusible interfacing, you can press it to the liner squares now.

Now, lay your zipper face up on the right side of your liner (you can see my interfacing with the wrong side of the liner).

Then lay your outer fabric right side down on top of the zipper and pin in place

Use your zipper foot to sew a straight stitch along the zipper.  Don't sew too close to the teeth or you'll have a hard time opening and closing the zipper.

Fold back your fabric so right sides are facing out, and press in place.

I like to top stitch... I think it looks more finished and stands up better to daily use.  But this is optional!

Here's the tricky part... Figuring out this next step took some trial and error!  Spatial reasoning is not my strong suit... But I noodled it out!  Lay your liner fabric right side up (with interfacing underneath), then place your zipper and attached fabric right side up on top.  Lay your last piece of outer fabric face down on top, and pin in place.  

Or just re-create this picture, cause those were a lot of directions...

After you sew, press, and top stitch, this is what you should have, spread out...

Take a break, you're working hard...

Then, arrange your piece so right sides are facing each other, zipper in the middle, and pin

Important detail, make sure your zipper teeth are facing each other toward the liner, and pin like above.  Why?  I don't know how the magical physics of this works, but somehow this makes your zipper lay flat and aligned.  Zippers are weird.  Just trust me.

The next step is to sew all the way around the entire rectangle, leaving an opening a few inches wide along what will be the bottom of the liner.  I put a mark there indicating when to stop, because graduate school has slowly deteriorated my short term memory...

Your rectangle will look like this...

Be especially careful when sewing over the zipper teeth.  It's possible to jam or break your needle if it gets caught in the teeth.  I sew slowly up to the edge of the teeth, raise the needle, and walk the foot over that tiny section.  Continuous stitching gives a nice finished zipper.  Feel it out for yourself, you can do it!

Next, pull the fabric through that opening you remembered to leave at the bottom of the liner.

You end up with this... 2 bags facing each other. 

I sew a quick straight stitch across the opening at the bottom of the liner... If you want, you can do an invisible slip stitch by hand so everything is uniform....but who's peeking inside the tiny bottom corner of your laptop bag??  I ain't got time for that!

Clip the corners of the fabric to reduce bulk, then stuff your liner inside the outer bag.  A bag in a bag!  Aren't you smart?

Look what you made!  And it only took an hour!  If you don't count the 45 minutes you spent foraging in the sale racks of Joann's...

And now, when someone says "OMG your laptop bag is, like, totes adorbes, where did you get it?!"  you can say, "I made it myself!  The 'Not a Day Less Will Do' Blog by this chick, Katey, walked me through it, it was SEW easy!"  Maybe you can skip the blog-plug and the pun, but, hey, you just made your own zippered bag, your cool factor can afford it!   

In Love with Seattle, Part 1

This is a love story

Not the one with my husband (though that is a really good story that I will post at length about, I'm sure).  It's about my love affair with Seattle.

My father, commonly known as "The Captain," served in the Navy for 30 years.  We moved about a dozen times throughout the U.S., and internationally.  Having a tight-knit family with three siblings helped, but being an introverted kid did not.  No matter where we were, or where we were going, I dug in my heels when we had to leave.  I didn't want to make new friends, start a new school, get used to a new place.  I wanted a home.  Home in a literal "where" sense.  Somewhere I was "from."  So when we moved from Nebraska after my 8th grade year, I wasn't too pleased about relocating to Seattle, even though most kids would have been amped to go from this...

To this...

Still, I was miserable, in my egocentric adolescent way ("no one understands me, I'll never be happy again" etc etc.). 

We were driving cross-country for the move.  The Captain was driving and Mama and my siblings were all asleep when I woke up to this view...

Misty evergreen forest, cloud-capped black mountains, winding our way through a damp, quiet freeway.  Crows and seagulls.  Silver clouded sky.  It was love at first sight.  

I had never been so overwhelmed by the beauty of a place before.  I felt in my 13-year-old bones that this is where I belonged.  Belonging!  

And then I started high school and met the people around me, and that only confirmed what the forests and mountains already told me, which is that I fit in here.  Weirdos!  Weirdos everywhere!  And weirdos had friends!  NICE friends!  

I knew then, and I know now (about 15 years later) that people who couldn't find their home in other places can find a home here.  

The Captain had to relocate to New York City after only about 9 months of living in Seattle, so we left our little house in the quiet, mossy neighborhood for the Big City.  But the moment I had a chance to choose where I could live, I chose Seattle.  None of the students in my massive graduating class of 2004 left the New York tri-state area.  Except for me.  I had a home to go back to.

I've lived here about 10 years now.  The Captain and Mama have settled in Colorado for now (arguably equal to the Pacific Northwest in scenic beauty and weirdos).  StewDrew (brother 1) is here with me, NedJake (brother 2) joined the Navy himself, and Little B (one and only baby sister) is in Colorado now, but has plans of her own to PNW it up!  I met my husband here.  He grew up here on Vashon Island - it doesn't get more northwest than there.  I met the best group of women here (the soon-to-be-famous SMASH CLUB).  And I am me here.  Having lived in many places, I think I can say with supreme authority that this is the best place in the world.

Love story to be continued...